Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Formal Email Writing


To: Brad Blackstone

From: Wee Li Fang

 Date: September 20, 2016

 Subject: Self Introduction

Dear Brad,

My name is Wee Li Fang, from Telematics in Singapore Institute of Technology (SIT). I am writing this email to you to share with you more information about myself.

To start off, I will begin with my course in polytechnic. Prior to entering university, I was actually from the same course from Nanyang Polytechnic in Telematics & Media Technology (TMT). Most people would assume that I enrolled in telematics due to it being related to my course in polytechnic. However, modules like engineering mathematics that were taught there, was not as in depth as compared to the similar modules taught here in SIT .

Before joining TMT in Nanyang Polytechnic, I must admit that I did not have the faintest idea about what telematics was at all. However after attending this course, I realized that telematics is applicable to our everyday life. For example: the recording of a speeding car using the high speed camera and the findings are recorded in the system for us to analyze.

In addition to this, I had designed an application for both android watch and phone for my final year project. The application notified the user that his/her family member has fainted at home. Thus, ithas captured my interests in this course because I could also build something that would help contribute to the society.

With that, I hope you would have a better understanding of my background.

Yours sincerely,

Wee Li Fang



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I have commented on Jamie, Telson and Jia Wei's blog.


Edited on 29 September 2016
 

12 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dear Li Fang,

    I enjoyed reading your post as through your post, I got to know more about you. I liked the part about your final year project as it seems like an interesting project to work on. I would like to know more about your goals for the future especially your career prospect in the field of Telematics.

    Regards,
    Jamie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your kind words, I would take note on the suggestion that you have given.

      Regards,
      Lifang

      Delete
  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dear Li Fang,

    Good to hear that you have come to know more about telematics after taking up telematics in SIT. It would be good if you were to add in your aim for the future, what would you like to achieve in the future after you graduate.

    Regards,
    Jia Wei

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your kind words, I would take note on the suggestion that you have provided.

      Regards,
      Lifang

      Delete
  5. Dear Li Fang,

    Thank you for the courteous introduction. The example that you gave, on how students from relevant engineering diplomas may find engineering modules in university, to be more in-depth and challenging was concise.

    A suggestion that i have for your email, would be to tell us more about your interests and your aims for the future.

    Overall, your email provided me with a clear understanding, on how we could use our Telematics knowledge to create great products that help improve the lives of others.

    Regards,
    Telson

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your kind word, I would take note on the suggestion that you have provided.

      Regards,
      Lifang

      Delete
  6. Dear Li Fang,

    I am glad to hear that you are continuing to pursue Telematics as a career, as you have already done an interesting project during your polytechnic days. All the best!

    Regards,

    Sze Dee

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thank you, Li Fang, for this informative letter. From the letters I have read so far, it seems you are one of the very few in our class who has studied telematics. It was good to learning about your interesting project work. I'm sure we can all benefit from your knowledge and experience, which will be especially useful when we start our own focused project work.

    You have lots of good feedback from classmates in this post. A few of them have mentioned wanting to hear more about your other interests. That would be good, too, of course, as we would like to know more about who you are.

    Aside from content, there are also a few language issues with this letter:

    1) I will begin with my course in polytechnic. >>> (verb tense)
    2) ...what exactly is telematics .... >>> (wrong sentence structure: this is a statement not a question)
    3) However after attending this course... >>> (punctuation)
    4) For example, the recording of a speeding car using the high speed camera and the findings are recorded in the system for us to analyze. >>> (fragment)
    5) ...I had built .... >>>> (verb tense)
    6) can also built >>> (verb form)

    I appreciate all your effort so far and looking forward to learning more about you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Brad,

      Thank you for your kind feedback. I hope that i will have the chance to apply my telematics knowledge for the project work.

      I have took note of the language issues that you mentioned and have made the necessary change to the letter.

      Regards,
      Lifang

      Delete
  8. Dear Li Fang,

    I have learnt a lot more about you after reading your introduction. I am happy that you are actually learning more about Telematics in SIT. However, I am interested to know more about your interests too.

    Furthermore, I do notice a few grammar mistakes in your introduction.

    1) what actually I could get from attending this course -> what I could actually get from attending this course

    2) telematics -> Telematics

    3) For example, the recording of a speeding car using the high speed camera and the findings are recorded in the system for us to analyse. (sentence structure)

    Lastly, It was an insightful post about yourself and it was nice to know more about Telematics through your blogspot!

    Here's to more teamwork together!

    Cheers,
    Sheryl Toh

    ReplyDelete