The article “Fleet One Helps Narrow
Down Important Data” introduces the Fleet One Vehicle Tracking system which is
developed by WEX Fleet One. It offers a wide range of GPS fleet tracking
solutions to both the private and government sectors, catering to vehicle
fleets of varying sizes.
According to Goetz (2011), Fleet
One’s digital platform consists of a two-way touch screen interface for better
fleet information management.
Furthermore, value-added features
such as online account and “fuel purchasing management” reduces fraud at fuel
pumps, making the system cost effective.
Moreover, trainings are provided by
the GPS salesperson to new users through both online and offline platforms.
Furthermore, Fleet One also has two
types of fuel cards for the companies to monitor their activities and transactions
online. The cards All roads fuel card and Over the road fuel card, are
differentiable by the extent of the distance the fleet vehicle travels.
Similarly, GPS Insight also has a
fleet monitoring system with additional Fuel integration card.
We will be evaluating Fleet One’s
system base on 3 factors, its functions, ease of usage and how beneficial it is
to the companies.
The software is the essence of a
product. In this section, we will be focusing on GPS system fuel card
functions. Fleet One’s GPS system is able to locate the nearest and cheapest
fuel Kiosk, monitor and notify drivers on road conditions. GPS insight also
provide a fuel card function. But it does not provide fuel price indication for
price comparison between kiosk, which could result in unnecessary fuel
expenses. For this reason, Fleet One’s system is more holistically sound which
is evident from the comparison with GPS Insight, a fleet management company.
Beside, convenience and the ease of
usage of a product are what customers look out for. According to Fleet One’s
website, its cards are accepted nationwide at over 60,000 convenience stores
and 7,100 truck stops as compared to GPS Insight’s fuel card which is accepted
at 45,000 stores. With more available kiosk stations in collaboration with
Fleet One, drivers would be able to seek maintenance faster which in turn
increases the company’s efficiency, productivity and income by reducing time on
searching for appropriate services. Therefore, in the case of convenience,
Fleet One has been proven its stand.
Reference:
I think most of these comments, made on Draft 1, still apply on this draft, Li Fang.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Li Fang, for this effort. It has strengths and weaknesses. On the positive, your comparative analysis provides a fairly convincing argument that the Fleet One GPS is a better choice than GPS Insight.
However, you need to work on the organization of your ideas. For starters, the summary needs to be made clear and more concise. Why do you separate your description of the product into so many paragraph-sentences? Create a one paragraph summary.
You also mention "According to Goetz (2011)", but I see no Goetz on the reference list at the end. Why not?
Next, you don't really have a clear thesis, but you do present a purpose statement (even though that is not really required in this assignment). Because your essay lacks a thesis, or stand, your supporting body paragraphs don't have enough focus. (Actually, you do have a bit of a stand, but I only see it at the end of the essay.)
Finally, it's not clear to me that GPS Insight has essentially the same fleet function of Fleet One. You need to explain that you are comparing the function and suitability of two products.
Here are other issues to consider:
1) The cards: ‘All roads fuel card’ and ‘Over the road fuel card’, are differentiable by the extent of the distance the fleet vehicle travels. >>> (sentence structure)
1.1) differentiable >>> ?
2) Fuel integration card >>> what the caps on Fuel?
3) a unique product that differ >>> (subject-verb disagreement)
4) I felt that it is a unique product that differ from the others in the market. >>>
What does "it" refer to? Is this a thesis? No. It's really a statement of fact since these products must have at least one obvious difference.
5) We will be evaluating Fleet One’s system base on 3 factors, its functions, ease of usage and how beneficial it is to the companies.
>>>
(thesis statement or purpose statement?)
5.1) base on 3 factors >>> (wrong form)
6) this features >>> (plural or singular?)
7) Fleet One’s system is more holistically sound which is evident from the comparison with GPS Insight, a fleet management company.
>>> It seems to me that this is a better topic sentence for this paragraph. Why? It is because it gives an overview right from the start. Now you need a thesis to link it to up in your intro.
8) accepted nationwide >>> nationwide? in which country?
9) Fleet One is worthy the try, >>> worthy >>> wrong form
10) Your reference list is completely wrong as for its adherence to the APA guidelines.
Let's work on this!